Alcoholism is a disease that affects
millions of people along with heart problems, diabetes, cancer, and drug
addiction. We hear and read about different diseases that kill people every day
and how they leave broken-hearted families behind.
Who is considered an alcoholic and
what are they like in behavior? We all have our own personal conception about
what a person has to do in order to be considered an alcoholic. Usually,
they're labeled as habitual drunks.
Most of us picture an alcoholic as a
person, curled-up and passed out among the over-turned garbage cans and found on
a hidden side street between buildings or someone under a torn, grimy blanket
sleeping on a park bench with a newspaper over their face and wearing ragged,
filthy clothes looking as though they needed a hot, sudsy shower. In fact, a
large percentage of the public automatically assumes it's a man in this
condition having the problem. Rarely does it enter our minds that a woman could
be the alcoholic in these situations.
Our intellects come to the
understanding and conclusion that the drinker has absolutely no desire to find
a job or no wish to mingle with and contribute to society. We insist that many of
them are living off the welfare system with no intention of bettering
themselves. When we come in contact with the drinker, many of us lose patience
with them or omit them completely in our conversations and social circles.
It's more comfortable for us to pretend
that they don't exist. In other words, they're not getting their act together
to think and do things the way we
believe they should.
Because our own lives are structured
and orderly, we believe that we're better than the alcoholic. We forget how
blessed our families are to have jobs that pay well, three good meals a day on
the table, independent lives, and the freedom to come and go as we like. This
concept is what most people consider to be a healthy American life under normal
living conditions.
The reality of an alcoholic's life
won't hit us until we come in direct contact with a family member, friend, or a
close acquaintance who's struggling to combat this disease. Then we develop the
need to understand fully and to gain the knowledge of what alcohol is doing to
the alcoholic and the people around them.
Once the abuser's actions start to
affect our lives, we suddenly sit-up
and open our eyes to what's happening to the individual. The desire to help
them is there because we love the person and can see that the disease has
changed his or her personality, morals, and ambitions. The devastating fact
hits us that alcohol is slowly killing our loved one.
The alcoholics themselves can
become acutely aware that they are drowning in drink and still don't feel the
need or have the willpower to get help. For them, the battle to give up liquor
has too many side effects, and it's too hard to combat the habit, especially if
this life-style has been going on for years.
It's a struggle every day for an
alcoholic to just get out of bed. Many spend their days sleeping. They skip meals
because their appetite has disappeared, thereby causing more damage to their
health because their bodies break down from lack of proper nutrition to keep
them stable.
Many alcoholics who have tried to
fight the disease don't relish the unpleasant physical effects of going without
a drink; instead, they give in and turn back to drinking. In their mind, taking
a drink is the only way to stop the effects of withdrawal. They fear going to
any public place, and the drinking imprisons them in their own home behind
closed doors.
Their lives and minds are
constantly in a confused state. Alcoholics live in uncertainty that immobilizes
them. They find it hard to do anything for themselves or their families. All
confidence disappears. They make up all kinds of stories in order to avoid
doing anything that makes them uncomfortable.
Doctors' appointments are canceled
because they fear what they may be told. Family events are ignored so they
don't have to hear about their behavior or their broken promises. They live in
denial that they have any problem at all and believe they can stop drinking at
any time.
Getting sober for an alcoholic
means they'll have to take the giant step of signing themselves into a
detoxification center. There, they'll experience what they feared: the shakes,
being confined, and taking medicine that will make them feel worse before they
get better. They're subjected to answering personal, embarrassing questions and
being cooped-up in a single room with strangers, whom they consider to be
sicker than they are.
After weeks or months of drying
out, they're pushed into the outside world again to face the same problems that
brought them there. Depending on circumstances, they'll have to confront the
people that they hurt, deal with job hunting, and return to having the
responsibility of making family decisions. Some become paranoid, thinking that
everyone is judging them and watching their every move to see if they slip.
Some probably are being watched because the whole family becomes sick and
confused from the disease.
If they don't continue to seek
professional counseling after being rehabilitated,join an AA group, or find a sponsor, most
alcoholics go right back to the bottle, which is always there to comfort them
with no condemnation.
Going back to drinking, or falling off the wagon as the expression
goes, doesn't mean that they want to, it means they're sick. Alcoholism is a
disease that is highly hereditary. It would be so much easier if drinking could
be cured by simply taking a pill. The first step to recovery for the alcoholic
is for him or her to want the help. No one can help them if they don't want to
be helped.
Alcoholics have the same wants and
dreams as the rest of us. There was a time when they held a job, had a
marriage, brought up children, owned a home and a car, and had a social life
with their friends and families. Now, they have become frightened, lost human
beings who have lost their dignity.
Alcoholism doesn't happen
overnight. The reality of their lives being out-of- control came when
catastrophes started to happen all around them. Some drinkers are fortunate to
be able to keep their lives fairly normal, but others don't realize it's a
problem until they lose everything.
Society needs to stop looking at
the millions of alcoholics as bums or low-class individuals who don't want to
better themselves. They have a disease that can reach the point of no
return.
If a person has been drinking for
years and wants to stop, the body may have reached the point where it needs the drink. The body craves it;
then there's no stopping.
Someone
Stop This Merry-Go-Round is based on the true story of my life living with
and losing a husband to alcoholism. Slowly, our happy lives as a secure family
started to fall to pieces at different stages. It seems completely
incomprehensible to me now that I couldn't see the signs of serious drinking from
this uncontrollable disease.